First of all, thank you everyone for your support and encouragement in response to my last post.
I talked to my mom on the phone today and when she began to launch into a negative, complaining tirade, I interrupted and told her that I really want this final week and a half of my pregnancy to be as relaxing and calm as possible, and so I asked her to please not dump her stress on me.
I think she heard me. (!)
Today I drove downtown and had lunch with my good friend whose husband who was diagnosed 15 months ago with the same kind of brain tumor as Ted K. Ennedy had. Her husband has been through a lot, but he is still alive and they are still fighting!
Anyway, my friend works at the law firm where I used to work and from where I was laid off in November 2008. Usually we meet off-site for lunch as I have no interest in running into any of the former attorneys I worked with (I thought they could have handled my lay-off a bit better, let's just say).
But today I found myself in the lobby of the building. And wouldn't you know it...I ran into 2 partners, 2 associates and 2 secretaries of the firm! Well, whaddya going to do? So I smiled my brightest smile, perked up, tried to look adorably pregnant in a clingy, long black t-shirt and jeans, and gushed about how happy I am and how wonderful my life is.
And they were all gracious, congratulatory and kind.
I chalked up my bravery to the Eight Pounds of Courage growing in my belly!
In other news, I came home from lunch and there was a call that the baby's dresser/changing station had arrived and was available for pick-up! The crib won't be available till around April, but I was excited that the dresser was here!
I called DH at work to see if he would go pick it up (I want it now, Now, NOW!) and he hemmed and hawed and said maybe over the weekend, if it's not raining.
:(
It's going to rain and I don't want to wait till the weekend. [insert whine here]
Men.
So I called the woman who left the message, asked her to get me the dimensions of the box, grabbed a measuring tape, measured the interior of my little station wagon, and realized the box just might fit! I drove to the warehouse where the men loaded it in (perfect fit!) and brought it home. It's still in the back of my car, in the garage, waiting for my DH to come home and unload it.
If you want something done NOW, you have to do it yourself!
So this past weekend I wrote out dozens of baby gift thank you notes, went to the post office today to mail them, checked in with my office email (yeah, I know, but I couldn't help myself), met my friend for lunch, bravely faced former co-workers, made a run to Target to stock up on TP, paper towels, laundry deterg, etc before the baby comes, and picked up the baby's dresser.
Ten days before giving birth.
Anyone who says women are not the stronger sex doesn't know shite from onions (I stole that phrase from EB).
So much for R&R.
...
Mike got a job and other updates
4 years ago
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15 comments:
I love it! You are seriously one strong and fabulous woman.
As for DH - he'll find out that life doesn't stop for rain when your gorgeous baby comes:) tee hee!
Now you're REALLY nesting! The week before I had my daughter I built a closet organizer for her room - she still uses it! That burst of energy really comes in handy.
Too bad husbands don't seem to get the nesting thing, too. But the whole fatherhood thing does kick in fairly strongly after the birth, so I bet Mr. BWUB is deep in it by the time the crib shows up...
Way to go for nipping your moms grouch habit in the bud! You're not denying her those feelings, but they are HERS and you dont deserve to be mired in them when you're giving her a beautiful bouncing baby to play with!
So happy things are coming together!
Well done my friend, I'm really proud of you, for blocking out your mum's related stress and for the bravery with your ex co-workers!! Don't you feel a million time better already?
Wow only ten days!!! can't wait!!
Oh, Besty you are so awesome! Good for you for gettin' 'er done! I'm so glad you let your mom know what you need, and I'm in awe of how productive you have been with thank you notes and picking up supplies and dressers and such - you rock! (now you're going to relax for the next 10 days, right???)
Love,
Maddy
Look at the Mama lion finding all kinds of strength reserves she never knew she had! Sounds like you are kicking ass and taking names.
I'll bet your mom, DH and former coworkers all had a few moments of stunned surprise all served up by Mama BWUB. Incidentally, I betting that DH got the message loud and clear when he came home and found his very pregnant wife with furniture in the car. :)
doh! i saw your blog title in my reader this morning and thought, "bwub hatched her egg early"! daggone it! :P
good for you for speaking up to your mom. i hope she respects your wishes and eases up a bit these last few days.
love the dresser story - i would have done the same thing! im so impatient, when i want something, i want it NOW! :D
bloody hell, you do more one week from birth than I do when I'm not preggers!!!
Good for you for setting down the law with your Ma. That takes so much courage, even when we are grown.
And I love the dresser story - I so do. It sounds just like something I would do!!
Take it easy - if you can.
Eb
Wow, very impressive--getting so much done! I love the eight pounds of baby courage! I hope your mom can hold out the negativity for a few weeks. And, yes, women are the stronger sex--but let's keep that our secret!
You are rocking it perfectly in these final days!
So glad you got to see your old friend/coworker. That is a good disconnect from all the immediate stuff you are dealing with. A well-earned break.
And three cheers for handling your mom's negativity...now you can re-direct her anytime she kicks it on now and in the future.
Mr. BWUB is going to have his work cut out for him after you have baby bwub. You are the mover and shaker over there and when you are busy taking care of a newborn, he's going to be in 'go-mode'. It'll happen but when you gotta take the reins, (no matter how pregnant you happen to be) you gotta take the reins.
Keep it up! And for pete's sake woman...take a nap or twelve.
Holy Nesting Batman, you accomplished more in one weekend than I do in a month!!! Congrats on speaking up to your Mom-keep doing it because just wait until she knows better than you how to raise your child! My sister and I have "motherly advice" jars..whenever my mom gives unsolicited advice, she has to put $ in the jar-that way we all laugh about it instead of it being ugly. It goes like this "Mom do you need to put some money in the jar?" That's how we let her know she is being tooooo bossy on how to take care of the kids. You can find them online. ORDER ONE NOW! Maybe you can add a post it note to it adding your MIL and Wacky P! Your childs education will be PAID FOR by Wacky P!!!
You nesting FOOL YOU!! You ARE super woman! I would have done the SAME THING-picked that up MYSELF! You are SO RIGHT, if you want it done and done right, do it yourself! Now, get on the ball and get some neighbor dude to uload it and bring it in the house so you can put it together :) HUGS!
Hi. Wow....yes I'm catching up a bit here. Ok, love the cute little hat with the ears and OMG the closet is totally full and looks adorable. As does your belly :)
I am in awe of your running around and efficiency and everything.( I can hardly move.)And your mom? I did read the whole post and shit. Good for you for stopping her in her tracks. Yep, sounds like it's time to set those boundaries - might make it easier down the road. Now all we need is whacky p to stir the pot right before you give birth and you'll have a trifecta!
Good for you for all you did!
I can't imagine coming face to face with the former coworkers in an awkward situation like that. I think it is so great that baby BWUB has become your courage to help you get through these difficult situations with you coworkers and mom. How empowering!
And holy nesting! You soung just like me; going, going, going right up until the end!
I hope you can get some real relaxation in in these last couple of days! He'll be here before you know it!
Dear barren women,
Accept the fact that children are a privilege, and remind yourself that many people live happy and fulfilling lives without parenthood.
You have the necessary alternatives, like adoption, to fulfil the desire, and your mental frustration can be resolved if you rid yourself of your toxic feelings of entitlement. You can be happy without children, but not if you’ve convinced yourself that you were meant to have them. Human beings can adjust to unbelievable hardships, as long as they accept that life doesn’t owe them anything.
Not having children is a very minor problem compared to what some people endure, and the fact that it requires the creation of another person without their consent should be adequate proof that it isn’t a right. Yet by identifying as “infertile” you’ve chosen to align yourself with a group of women who view parenthood as a human right. Saying that you are “desperate” for a baby sends the same message, as though a baby was a basic human entitlement like food.
The maternal instincts of humans are strong, but they are not outside of your control. You can satisfy your desire for parenthood and nurturing by adopting, just like everyone else who finds themselves infertile at the time. It is only to be expected that you’ll have moments when you long for a biological child, but you decide if you will allow yourself to wallow in your longing or if you will focus on finding more productive ways to spend your time.
If you are truly depressed then it isn’t because you are infertile, but the belief that you are being denied something that you are entitled to could contribute to your problems. It’s not infertility in itself that will hurt your emotional health, it’s the way you think about parenthood. A lot of the same women who identify as "involuntary childless" are the same ones who define femininity by motherhood, and with that attitude, not having children begins to equal not being a woman – and that idea could contribute to a crisis.
I want to make one thing absolutely clear: If you believe that you are suffering from depression, you need to seek help from a professional. If you used the word “depressed” more colloquially to say that you feel sad and unhappy, you may still want to discuss your feelings with a therapist, but sadness and frustration would be a normal response to being robbed of something that you view as a human right. That is obviously not what is happening to you, but emotionally you will respond to events as you experience them as opposed to how to they really took place.
Infertiles often talk about discrimination and stigma. Natural selection declares that not every single individual is supposed to reproduce. Infertiles do not want to accept this, so they choose to believe that women are being denied something in an act of discrimination. Being the victim of discrimination multiple times a day, being denied something that you are entitled to, and watching as everyone else but you experiences what you want would be extremely upsetting. That’s not what’s going on though, so happiness can be found by shedding your voluntary delusions.
You are not entitled to children, you don’t deserve to create and own a living creature, and the fact that nature itself has declared this speaks volumes to that. You do not need children, and you can be happy without them.
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