We received news today that the big case I've been working on might settle. Negotiations are in the works. Last I heard, the parties were "close." For what that's worth.
The possibility of settlement brings mixed emotions. On one hand, I think if the case went to trial, we would kick the other side's lying, evil butts, which would give me great personal satisfaction. On the other hand, being able to stop the insanity, stop having to respond to their ridiculous motions, start working reasonable hours and put those jerks behind us - is a really welcome thought.
My boss already invited everyone out for drinks tomorrow night. I think it's a bit premature, but, whatever.
In the mean time, Alex P asked me some questions in her comment the other day. She asked what I am doing to get ready for delivery, whether I am taking Lamaze classes and what my plans are for having the baby, meaning whether I plan to get an epidural or go natural.
So I guess the big question is: What am I doing?
I'm embarrassed to admit that I have not yet enrolled in any childbirth classes, although I plan to. I have not done much research about my childbirth options. I know, I know...how could I not have done these things? I have not yet talked to HR at work about my maternity leave, nor have I discussed it in any detail with my bosses. I'm not even sure what I want to ask for. And no, we have not yet interviewed any daycare providers.
I'm a mess. The past few months have somehow evaporated.
I do know a few things though:
(1) My first choice would be to give birth naturally, without an epidural. But since I have no idea what that pain is going to be like, I am absolutely open to shouting the word "Anesthesia!" and getting an epidural when it's offered. I'm no martyr.
(2) I'm also open to the possibility that I may need a C-section. Breach position, stalled labor, other emergency - whatever - I'm no hero. My first and foremost concern will be the health and safety of my baby. This birth is not about my experience - it's about getting the baby here safely.
(3) I need to take some classes. I know how to care for the baby once it's here, but labor and delivery are not my expertise.
(4) I do not want a midwife or doula. Just not my thing. When I'm in pain, I need quiet and I need to focus. Somebody touching me, stroking me or talking to me is likely to get cursed at and punched in the nose. All I want in the room are a doctor and a nurse telling me what to do periodically, and my DH, standing quietly nearby. I don't focus well when there are a lot of distractions.
(5) I'd love to be able to take 6 full months of maternity leave. I'm not sure what my bosses will think of that. I'm not sure my DH and I can afford that. But in a perfect world, it would be great. Alternatively, maybe I can take 4 months and then work from home part time.
(6) As for daycare, my Mom is supposedly going to move here and take care of the baby once I go back to work. But, we need to be prepared in case that doesn't work out. And my preference is a commercial daycare organization rather than a private home. I just feel like a commercial business will have strict rules and more people around so that the chances of someone shaking my baby (my worst nightmare) are less than in a private home. Just my own preference.
(7) My DH's plan is to get the baby's room emptied (it's currently a home office), cleaned and painted during the holiday break so that it will be ready for baby furniture and decorating. We'll see. My DH is a fabulous procrastinator. And I'm not moving furniture.
Oh boy. There is a lot to do. So, it will be helpful if the legal case settles so that I'll have time to turn my attention to some of these things. Otherwise, one day my water will break and then I'll really wonder: What am I doing?!
4 months ago