Sunday, January 17, 2010

Climb On Board, Honey

Thank you all for the registry advice and suggestions! Based on your thoughts and recommendations, I finally feel like I have a bit of a handle on the issue and have begun the click-and-register process. I must admit, the thought of having those items in our house, and imagining using them, is pretty exciting stuff.

Yesterday my DH and I attended an all-day prenatal class. It addressed the pregnancy, labor, and delivery process and touched briefly on breast feeding, anesthesia and post partum. Overall it was a really good class with a great group of expectant parents and an engaging instructor.

Know what's kind of funny though? hee hee hee.

Several weeks ago when I told my DH that I registered for these classes, he made the off-handed comment that he'd go with me if I wanted, but suggested that he didn't think he'd really be involved in anything (or have to learn anything) until after the baby arrived.

Yesterday's class gave him quite a reality jolt. Goodbye 1950, hello 2010.

The class included a ton of information about the partner's role during labor, delivery and post partum. I honestly think my DH was in shock.

Ohhhhhhh.....the partner can be timing contractions during early labor, can assist mom in focusing, remaining comfortable, providing massage, offering cool (or warm) compresses, and giving lots and lots of verbal support and encouragement. The partner can give guidance in breathing, and of course, help mom in her birthing position (grab that leg, honey).

What? Not just stand by and watch? (hee hee hee....I had lots of silent, to-myself giggles yesterday).

We came home and my DH wanted to get his hands on that reading material and go through it again. There's a lot he has to know, after all (hee hee hee). And he is serious about this.

But really, he was very attentive during the class, I saw him nodding a lot to himself as he took in the information, and I know he wants to do everything he can to help me get through this and to help bring our baby safely into the world.

Everything except pull the baby from my womb, that is.

One of the videos we saw showed the father helping "catch" the baby as it was born, and as the baby was finally free of the mom's body, the father, with a slippery baby in his hands quickly said to the doctor or nurse something like, "Oh, here, get him, I don't want to drop him." My DH was horrified at the thought (remember that initially his hands trembled like a patient with Parkinson's when he had to give me the Delestrogen shots). I assured him he did NOT have to pull the baby from my body. He is so relieved.

Anyway, the bottom line is that the light has finally dawned on him that he has a huge role in all of this. And he wants to be prepared and do his best. Which makes me very happy. He even said something like he realized he will have to help me through most of labor until it's actually time to push.

Oh - one funny thing. He asked me whether I might want to have his sister, Wacky P, there for the birth - to help give comfort and support. I looked at him and said, "Hell no, I can't handle her when I'm half tanked, you think I want her there when I'm giving birth?" He just mumbled an "Oh" and let it go.

Yeah, right, let's all envision this: How about having my mother (giving advice but usually thinking of herself first), Wacky P (with her know-it-all superiority complex) and my MIL (asking me a million questions an hour) in the room while I give birth?

Ha! Heck no. I'd rather give birth by myself in a cornfield. (Yay for 2010 when a woman gets to make choices about what's best for herself during birth!)

So, there is still a lot to do, a lot to prepare for and a lot to think about. But at least I've finally got my DH on board the baby train! Wooo Wooo!


Michele said...

That's great that he's really taking this all in stride now! Wacky P in the delivery room??? She'd keep telling you that you were doing it wrong!!! Yikes!

PaleMother said...

"He asked me whether I might want to have his sister, Wacky P, there for the birth"

Oh. My. Lord.

IVF 40+ said...

wow, very cool. And getting really close. I can feel your joy.
Love that DH got a reality check! How odd that he would ask you if you wanted SIL there? What goes on in the minds of men? I swear - I know not.

Thank you so much for all your support and energy over the past few days. You are a gonna be a great mom.


Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

So funny that DH even contemplated asking you about whether Wacky P should be there for the birth. Maybe she should bring the pet rat too? ;)

Anonymous said...

hahaha!~ I love that your DH finally saw the light! My guy is just too darn stubborn, he went to the classes with me too but he was zoned out. Then we ended up having a c-sect and he thought he'd just wait outside. NO WAY! I just told him he was gonna be there and that was it. He really is not good around blood, once he cut his finger and he fainted just looking at it.

But the story is that he did come through and was present at the birth! No one else (beside medical personnel) was in the room, which is how I wanted it. I can just imagine a scene from Scrubs or something with Wacky P, your mom and your MIL all giving you advice from around the table while your DH has his stopwatch trying to time your contractions...

Fran said...

WOowww delighted for your DH, meaning I'm so hppy he want to be there for you and learnign as much as possible!
Now...on the WackyP suggestion...he must have been joking! I can't imagine anything worse than spectators!
love, Fran

tootertotz said...

Nothing better than a husband who decides to join Team Baby in advance of the baby's actual arrival!

Maybe the Wacky P suggestion was brought on by his new "sympathy pregnancy" hormones?! Kinda like when we have irrational thoughts or ideas during pregnancy. Heaven knows I have said and done some bizarre stuff in mine.

I am a real maniac about birth and the first few weeks afterward. When our son was born, I told all the family that we wanted a few weeks to be alone in our new family and grow accustomed to each other without any interference so we could get used to our new roles. They can expect a lot of the same this time. So, you do what feels best in terms of interaction during the birth AND those early weeks. You've earned it!

stillhopeful said...

That's great that DH is now "on board". I wonder if the distance you were seeing in him was coming more from just not knowing what his role should be? I know my DH sometimes just stays out of the way when I'm decorating or buying things, as I have "the plan", and he is sometimes reticent to try something on his own, in case it doesn't match my "my plan". Now that DH can clearly see his role during labor and delivery, that's so great that he is doing further research and wants to be the best at it. Very cool.

btw... I'm writing this with little Aysia snoozing comfortably in the Baby Bjorn. I spent the time to try it out this morning. Getting it together was not nearly as complicated as I first thought - about 10 mins, and future times will take about 2 mins max. She went from fussing/crying in the bouncy seat to cuddling/snoozing up against my chest in about 5 mins, and I am free to walk / sit / multi-task. So far it's very comfy (I have the "active" version - has lumbar support), and I feel it's a little more secure than the moby wrap, no way she'll slip down or shift to a bad position.

K said...

Ahhh hah ha ha ha. Ok. I'm laughing at your DH. Silly guy. The light went on?? Better now, than later! But WTF was he thinking when he said invite whacky P?

Christina said...

That is so great that your husband is getting excited about the birth too! And, it is also great that you've managed to sort through all the baby gear--your baby will be here before you know it!

just me, dawn said...

I am late to this post so everyone has voiced my chockles at the fact that DH would actually ask if you wanted wacky p there....but yay for him catching the baby train finally :) our one day class is sunday....praying that we actually get to go to the class!

Alex P said...

Do you think he really came up with that all on his own, or that she asked him if she should be on hand for support? Or do you think he was hoping for someone there as back up in case he nosedives to the floor in a stupor? (I dunno, my husband gets sick on every ride known to man, even dancing makes him queasy, so I'm assuming childbirth viewage is also too much for some men...) I just think thats a weird question for him to ask knowing how 'close' you and wacky P are... Or maybe there's a family pool on when your next (or first?) giant pregnancy meltdown occurs. He was just trying to pull some strings to cause it on the day he bet on. This would win some major money (for CD.s ... for the baby)... even if he was (in my eyes) putting his life at risk with such a suggestion, it would explain the motive.

Lorraine said...

Nice! I hope he does all the warm compresses and counter-pressure massages when the time comes!

I can only imagine the look on your face when he brought up the idea of WP at the birth...

Serendipity said...

what a crack up that he asked if you wanted Wacky P there.

glad to hear your class went well and your hubby is fully embracing his role :) Not long now, how exciting!

Holly said...

Wacky P at your birth????? I am laughing so hard the tears won't stop!!! NFW! He must have had a momentary lapse of sanity!

Funny about the birthing class, we took 12 weeks of classes for Bradley method natural child birth-my husband 1/2 paid attention and then got a reality check when in our 2nd to last class we went through "mock labor" and he had NO IDEA what he was doing and I was so upset I was in tears. He lived with our class book next to him for the next 6 weeks reading, re reading and trying to absorb all he missed. I thought the fact that we were paying a small fortune for the classes and our doula would have my tightwad hubby pay attention, but...