Monday, October 26, 2009

Looking on the Bright Sides

I feel like all I've done is grumble lately.

Grumble about my mom's visit. Grumble about Wacky P and the upcoming holidays with the in-laws. Grumble about my DH and cleaning out the junk.

I don't want to grumble any more. I want to look on the bright sides. There are many of them.

First, my DH didn't hold against me my cursing at him the other day about getting rid of stuff. And he easily could have pointed out that, aside from his books and CDs (and the dusty fan and microwave), he doesn't keep much stuff. I. on the other hand, have stored bubble wrap, scraps of wrapping paper, every tape cassette I ever bought and lots of other things. The difference now is that I am ready to do a massive overhaul and get rid of just about everything. Still, he's trying to be cooperative and I know we'll get it worked out.

Second, I feel a bit better, but did not want to work at the office today. I went in this morning only long enough to gather some work to bring home and to talk to my boss.

She was there, but looked drained and exhausted. Turns out, her elderly mom passed away last week. I expressed my condolences. She seemed to be at peace with it. Her mom had progressive Alzheimer's and had suffered a huge stroke not long ago. My boss and her siblings had the opportunity to be with their mom at her bedside, to say their goodbyes and to make peace. Now she and her sibs need to make arrangements and spend time with other family. She said she won't be in the office much this week either.

I briefly updated her on work projects. She was pleased with what I've been working on. Then I changed the subject. After offering a quick explanation about not wanting to bother her the past several weeks while so much has been going on in her life, I just sort of blurted out, "I'm 5 months pregnant." I said that I wanted to tell her first, that I feel good and I expect to work until the baby arrives, which should be the middle of March.

She was so kind. First she said, "Congratulations, that's wonderful." Then she suggested I speak with another attorney in the office who has a 3-year old and who was on maternity leave when my boss came to work for the office. She said no one else in our office has taken maternity leave while she's worked there, so she wasn't sure what all I'm entitled to, but the other attorney could be very helpful.

She then said, "Don't worry, we'll accommodate you the way everyone has accommodated me when I needed the time."

Nice, huh? That was a relief. Of course, I still need to tell her boss, who also works in our office, and who has been known not to always be so nice. But at least I have my boss in my corner.

Finally, it's a beautiful day, I get to work at home today and as it turns out, I have nothing to grumble about.


cindyhoo2 said...

Excellent news about telling your boss! And I don't think you have been Debbie Downer of late. :)

IVF 40+ said...

hey, congratulations for telling your boss (#1). It must've been nerve wracking! And, although I don't think you have been moaning etc its great to see you are thinking about your sense of happiness in this wonderful (but stressful) time.
See you soon!

Fran said...

My dear....I know why I feel I'm so close to you. Your post on my blog brought tears to my eyes and when I saw there was one comment I knew it was you.
I'm so happy you told your boss, the first step is over and it'll be easier to take the next. Delighted your DH wasn't upset about your mood (I bet he's thinking it's your hormones!!) and I'm sure you'll find a way to clear out what's necesary without too much arguing.
Sending you much much love, Fran

stillhopeful said...

Ah, what a relief, right? I had the same experience, I was really nervous about telling, then got a lot of support. It's a big weight off your shoulders once people know!

And you're not a grumbler, you just have interesting stories to tell! :)

Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

What a relief! I hope your big boss is decent about it -- he/she really has no choice but to accept it.

K said...

Yay for bright sides and understanding bosses and for working from home and for cleaning out junk! (It's therapeutic too!)

just me, dawn said...

good job!! glad to hear that one big thing is off your mind :)

Alex P said...

Awww thats a great post! so supportive. As for DH, I think if youre usually reasonable and accomidating, sometimes people need you to freak out a bit to light a fire under them. My husband equates it to being a quarterback on a foot ball field. Fine, all he has to do is throw the ball, so it seems like he takes it easy. Then when the other players slack off too, he has no one to throw it to. So he has to get angry to get their heads back in the game. Its not personal, its just what happens.

So glad you and baby are doing ok!

Lorraine said...

I almost told my boss today, too, in a blurt-it-out way! But we were at lunch and the tables were super close together and the woman next to us was practically in my lap so it felt too awkward. I know she was smiling when he was talking about making a date in the cheese section of Whole Foods, so I could just imagine what would she would do if I said I was expecting.Maybe tomorrow...

Glad you are on the sunny side!

tireegal68 said...

I am impressed that you got to five months before telling!
And so glad that you got support. I think that when bosses and other co-workers go through personal stuff they really get that there is more to life than work - even if they were nice already.
I am glad the clouds are lifting. I hope you feel better soon and are back to work and de-cluttering:)