Sunday, October 25, 2009

Pass a Tissue, Please, Then Move That Junk

First, I am sick. At least 4 people in my office were sick last week, and now I've come down with it. The only good thing about it is that everyone in the office only seemed to suffer a sore throat for a few days and then they were over it. I hope I'm as lucky. Yesterday morning was the first sign of a dry, scratchy throat. By nightfall, it was definitely sore. Yes, I have had thoughts like, "I could catch H1N1 and die." It's kind of strange to consider your own mortality that way. I thought, will my pregnancy be far enough along that they could save the baby?

So I'm taking my own best nursing advice and gargling frequently with Lis/terine or warm salt water, sucking on zinc and Vitamin C cough drops, drinking hot water with lemon and trying to rest.

And now the arguing has begun in our household.

Yesterday, in a first step to make space in the house for a nursery and consolidate our stuff, my DH and I spent yesterday afternoon cleaning the garage. In my opinion, there is SO much out there we could get rid of, creating extra storage space for furniture currently in the house that we don't need, but may want to either store or just put somewhere until we can sell it.

I believe there are things of each of ours that we could get rid of. He seems to think that "getting rid of" applies to my things and "finding storage" applies to his things. So I was getting frustrated.

We both own a lot of books. I have donated boxes of my books to Good W/ill and still have more that I could sort and donate or try to sell at a garage sale. He owns at least 5 times as many books as I do. There are boxes and boxes of his books in the garage. There are numerous shelves in our house loaded with his books. As I look to my right at this very moment, at the coffee table next to me, there are seventeen books stacked up on it - his evening reading selection.

Besides books, he has other old appliances and things in the garage he just wants to stack up and not get rid of. Like a crummy old dusty fan and his old microwave. I don't care if they both work, we haven't used them in 3 1/2 years and don't foresee the need for them.

And I'm wondering what he intends to do with the 273,895,164,338 CDs he has in his home office. It's unreal. I tell him nobody can listen to that much music. I expect he intends to keep them. All of them.

Now I have a lot of "stuff" too. I can't seem to get rid of the gadgets, figurines, framed photos, candles, toys and various doo-dads that either people have given to me as gifts, or that I bought or obtained over the years. But I am taking a new position: if it is not of the utmost sentimental value, or we don't use it, it goes.

So yes, I intend to keep the few items I have that were my grandmother's. I have a few things that are precious to me. But it's time to stop with the guilt ("so-and-so gave to me and I can't just throw it away") and either donate, sell or toss it.

After a few hours in the garage yesterday, and waiting to see what my DH would do about his stuff, I eventually lost my temper and barked at him through clenched teeth that I know it's tough deciding what to keep and what to get rid of, but don't be so f***ing lazy about it because it needs to be done and if this was a fun chore, we would have done it three years ago.

Yes, I felt badly about barking at him. But I also know if I wait for him to get around to making space, clearing out, getting rid of, etc, our kid won't have a room of his own till he's 4 years old. And all of my DH's books will still be everywhere in the house and filling boxes in the garage.

There is a lot more work to be done. Both in the garage and in the house.

I predict there will be more arguments too.


stillhopeful said...

That's so funny! Getting rid of the junk is so hard, and I have the same problem with my DH and books. Yet he's not really a big reader, he just likes his books. I switched to Kindle a year ago, and have donated almost all my old books, so I have little patience there. It's a negotiation over time, that's all I can say! Hopefully you'll both get on the same page soon so it won't be too painful...

I hope you feel better soon. I got sick back in my first tri, and it was not fun. My OB told me I could have 2 types of cold meds (I think it was a type of Robotusin and maybe Sudafed, but I'm not 100% sure). So if you get worse, you might want to check on taking more serious cold relief.

And thank you so much for all the great info on breastfeeding. Very helpful - I really appreciate it!!!

IVF 40+ said...

Oh man its in the air! Hope it all gets resolved without bloodshed!
I am so sorry you are not feeling well. It must be very worrying. Hope you spend some quality time with a great book and a cosy blanket.
Get better for the week of the 16th - we shall meet for that cuppa.

Jen said...

We are doing the same thing here- except upstairs!!! Finally after over 2.5 years, I hired a gal last week to help move all of hubby's stuff out of the guest room, which became Jack's room on 5-30-07.

Good for you for moving faster than me!!!


tootertotz said...

Best of luck on the battlefield...ahem, garage! When he bigins to struglle with letting something go, mkae him watch one episode of Hoarders on A&E. He'll be tossing things in no time.

I hope you are getting better and have avoided the dreaded swine.

tootertotz said...

I apologize for my typing...that was pathetic. Begins...struggle...make.

I swear, I can type and spell.

anofferingoflove said...

oh, i SO feel your pain. my dp has always been more of a packrat than i and its always annoyed me. add in the pregnancy urge to nest (which is entirely real) and it just gets ugly!

tireegal68 said...

I am so there with you! My DP lived by herself for about 20 years before we got together. She loves things. She really can't help it - it's her nature. She seems to have sentimental attachments to so many things. I think it's cos her parents threw a lot of her stuff out without asking her. We have a whole household in storage because we moved it all put two years ago when we were getting ready to sell the condo. The market tanked and we didn't sell but all our stuff was packed up to the gills in storage so we left it there and bought a few things to make the house habitable! And a few more!
Over the past 11 years I have worked very hard to stay calm and be upbeat about it when we have to deal with this stuff. Every time we go to storage to get our winter / summer clothes and reorganize the front end which is accessible we try pick sone stuff to donate and I try really hard not to have a row about it. I find it helps to try and have a sense of humor about stuff but it's so hard.
Good for you for persevering - I know how hard it is.
So sorry you are sick and hope it is just a quick thing that's over soon.
Take care and remind your hubby about the TLC and foot rubs!

embieadoptmom said...

Dude, if you haven't used it in 6 months-GIVE IT A TOSS!! Take care of you and that sweet baby now!

Anonymous said...

oh I can empathise with you completely. It's so easy to hoard stuff or have your house filled with clutter. I always feel so great after i've had a big clean out. I hope you get to have that feeling soon!

Lorraine said...

So funny that so many of us have the same issue - I guess it is the need to get it done before all free time evaporates for at least two years...

Our garage is a haven for that stuff that we don't really need but haven't been able to part with - we have the dusty old fan, too! I am on the warpath, though. Real estate is too expensive here to allot that much square footage to things we don't even realize are there!

Fran said...

Oh noo, please don't worry about the sore throat, you're doing everything by the book and it'll be like for your colleagues, it'll be all over in a few days. Definitely rest as much as possible. And for the clearing out of the not to understand you...I'm sure your DH will be more cooperative in the future, I'm a devil for throwing stuff out and my DH woudl keep everything "just in case!". Much love your way, Fran

K said...

Good thing you're starting now!