Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Time Has Come

Oh, you guys are great and I thank you for your support after my last post about Wacky P, midwives and labor, Thanksgiving traditions and the right to make choices. I've decided you are absolutely right and I'm inviting you all to my house for Thanksgiving this year.

Yeah, right. I wish.


Work has become incredibly busy. Remember that I have not yet told my bosses or co-workers that I am pregnant. A few weeks ago a senior attorney asked if I would draft a motion for this big case he's working on. I said sure. Several days and 15 pages later, the motion was done and I gave it to him.

I thought that was the end of that.

At the end of last week he came into my office, stood in the doorway and said, "If that motion goes before the court, you were planning to argue it, weren't you?"

Me? Argue the motion? It's your case. The suit was filed in Orange County. As in Santa Ana. I'd have to fly there. Can I fly? I don't know. I don't fit into my suits anymore. None of them. I don't have a maternity suit. God, they're expensive. Do I have a doctor's appointment? When is the hearing? Will I have gotten my H1N1 vaccine yet?!!!!

I stared at him blankly as these thoughts ran through my mind.

I don't want to go. He wouldn't take no for an answer. The hearing will likely be toward the middle of November. Maybe neither party will ask for a hearing after the court issues its tentative ruling. Oh crap.

Did I complain a few weeks ago about not being very busy at work? Will someone please come kick me in the ass?

I came home and told my DH about the possibility of the hearing. He thought it's time I tell my bosses (and others) that I'm pregnant. I guess I don't have a choice at this point. I am dreading it. I just am.

So I decided over the weekend that I'd do it Monday, as in a couple of days ago. I went to work mentally prepared to go into my boss's office and tell her. Well, what do you think? There was an email saying she's out all week.

I'm off the hook for now, but it doesn't make things any easier.


just me, dawn said...

well I am super proud that your work was awesome and they want you to argue the case :) and you can fly....i flew to Ireland at 19 weeks and am flying to curacao at 24 weeks.....not sure when the case would be argued, but they say after around 32 weeks you shouldn't in case of premature labor....but then again after that I wouldn't want to fly....congrats on doing an awesome job, and you will get through telling them at work, eventually :)

Mad Hatter said...

You poor thing, Besty!! I can just imagine your face when he told you he wanted you to argue the case! Stop being so brilliant! :-) If you want to go, is the train or renting a car a possibility if you don't want to fly? If you don't want to go, then yes, playing the pregnancy card is best...Regardless of their reaction (which I'm sure will be just FINE!), you will feel better after telling them, no? Thinking of you!

anofferingoflove said...

coming out as pregnant at work is sooo hard. i waited just like you (between 18-19 weeks), i was just dreading it! in the end, everyone was really nice and supportive, as im sure your bosses/coworkers will be.

definitely don't hesitate to play the pregnancy card if you arent comfortable traveling. you've waited long enough to have the privilege, take advantage!!

stillhopeful said...

That's great that work is picking up - I think when things are busy, time flies much quicker, and then poof - you're in your third tri!!

I wouldn't worry about flying... I flew at least 8-10 times during my first 2 trimesters with no problems. My doc told me that if it's a long flight (over 2 hours) to make sure to get up and walk around, but otherwise, no concerns until you're into the third tri (as the first poster said - preterm labor). But you should call your doc and see what they say for you specifically.

For me, I've been trying to go over and above at work before the baby is born. I have to return to work, and I need my reputation and status to be intact! (I'm in a very competitive field dominated by the boys club). I hear advice all the time that nothing is more important than the baby, but in reality, for many, it's a juggling act, depending on your situation. So you need to find what works for you between putting everything into your job, and putting everything into your baby...

K said...

That's a difficult position to be in. But I wouldn't worry about flying at that point. The suit thing could be a pain in the ass. Ask if you can expense it since it's sort of out of the ordinary and you likely won't need it again?

And, what can I bring for Thanksgiving? ;)

cindyhoo2 said...

I am so excited about Thanksgiving in sunny CA. I make a fabulous pumpkin cheesecake bar. ;0)

As for the coming out at work. Yikes. You made up your mind to do it and now you have to wait. That is hard. I agree with the others though that your work product sounds excellent so your being pregnant should be fine.

Alex P said...

Oh isn't that just life! as soon as you're ready and all psyched up, your plan is ripped out from under you!

Good luck!

you could always take the Sex and the City Route and tell her with a post-it note.... ha.

tireegal68 said...

Oh no! I hate that kind of waiting - it makes me antsy! The good news is they love you and will do what it takes to keep you happy . But I agree if it was me I would still want to prove myself - even though it sounds like you already have.
Not being from here I only have recent t day memories. - but your dream one sounds like a happy cross between one of the happier family scenes in a woody Allen family movie and a friends episode. I don't have all the right cultural refs but it spells a warm picture to me:)

And as for the whole labor thing -after reading your description of what you went through alone when you lost your baby - no-one should give that OTT super schmaltzy stuff a second thought with you. Not sure if that came out right.
Sending happy power pregnancy suit (on sale) thoughts to you:)

Anonymous said...

you know what, it probably won't be half as bad as what you have pictured in your head (i'm talking about when you tell your work that you are pregnant). You have all the knowledge of this pregnancy and how complicated it was to get to this point but your co workers and boss won't know any of that so they will just see it as a simple pregnancy that happens all the time. No big deal (but they'll still think its great news) so I'm sure once you tell them you will feel a HUGE weight off your shoulders and you will look back and think.. "that wasn't so bad".