I have been diligently working on the story book/comic book by which we will finally reveal our pregnancy to family and close friends. It's been a fun project, so I've found that as I draw, write, erase and draw some more, the hours are flying by.
The framework is finished. I have 21 half-sheet pages of text/cartoon, plus copies of our ultrasounds inserted in the appropriate places. Now all I need to do is finalize the detail in some of the drawings, colorize and wait to add the ultrasound from my upcoming September 18 appointment. Then we'll make several copies and put them in the mail.
I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out.
Here's a preview of a couple of the (unfinished) cartoon frames (not in sequence):
I hope you can make out the images, they're just sketched in pencil right now so they're not very dark.
My DH and I may not yet agree on a name, but one important thing we agree on is being open about use of donated embryos. We want this fact to be part of our child's knowledge, memory and sense of who he is. Without shame, without excuse, without secrets. I feel like we've been blessed with a miracle. Why should I try to pretend it is something it's not?
Of course this doesn't mean I'm planning to tell the story to the grocery clerk or the TV repairman. But our child, our friends and our family will know the truth from the get-go.
Part of the reason my husband feels so strongly about full disclosure is because he did not learn until he was 10 years old that his oldest brother is actually his half brother. His mother had a first marriage (which my DH knew), from which his brother was born (which my DH did not know). His mom then married my DH's dad and had the remaining 3 kids.
When my DH learned the truth, he was devastated. Not because his brother was not his "real" brother, but because he felt lied to, cheated, not trusted to know the truth. He has carried a shred of resentment about that his whole life.
So he is firm (and I agree) that our child will learn all about who he is and where he came from. First in simple, global terms. Later in more detail. But it will never be a shock.
My sil, Wacky P's two kids are both from sperm donors. The kids, now ages 10 and 5 (or 6) have no idea. She never wants them to know the truth. She wants them to believe that her husband (the only dad they've known) is their genetic father. But you know what happens with secrets. They eventually get out. Someone blabs. Someone slips. Someone forgets. And then what? Imagine how those kids will feel if they learn the truth at age 15 or 20?
Just something to consider.
4 months ago