Thursday, September 24, 2009

Paranoia and Pictures

I've been paranoid. At work lately I have been paranoid that my co-workers are looking at my belly. That they're silently assessing whether they think I'm pregnant. I wear long shirts and I try to stand tall and even suck it in as best I can. I hold papers or files in front of me when I can. I'm paranoid someone will guess. My husband says I just look like a chubby state worker. I had lunch with former co-workers last week and they didn't notice. But still, I watch my current co-workers' eyes and try to determine if they're thinking about my belly.

Silly, huh?

In other news, I put the comic book in the mail to my parents and they should receive it tomorrow or Saturday. I'm excited to get their phone calls. I'm so glad you all enjoyed the book so much.

We were invited to a potluck get together with some of my good friends on October 4. I will be 16 weeks. Four months. I plan to take a comic book and at some point have one of the older children read it aloud to everyone (sweet K is now 14 and was the flower girl at my wedding). But I know my friends and they will guess and shout it out long before K gets half way through the book. I'm going to tell them to sit down, shut up and listen (well...maybe).

I scheduled my gender-determining ultrasound for October 30th. The girl who set the appointment said they like to wait until the 20 week mark because the physical development is best by then. So I have to wait a whole month. But I keep thinking that by Halloween we'll know whether our pumpkin is a boy pumpkin or a girl pumpkin. Unfortunately it will be 2 weeks after my Mom's visit, so she won't be here for it.

My oh my, the cat's going to be out of the bag! I still haven't decided how (or when) to let my boss/co-workers know.
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9 comments:

musicmakermomma said...

Love the comic book - and I'm so impressed you are telling everyone! What a huge thrill. I'm sure your family will be so excited, and I can't wait to hear about the reactions (in DETAIL!)

looking4#3 said...

I am sure your co-workers have no idea. I think when you self conscience of something, you tend to believe everyone else is noticing and staring at whatever it is. Not that you are self-conscience of your baby/bump, just them not knowing, when to tell, and them finding out before you are "ready" to let the cat out of the bag.

As for your parents, you know I can't wait. I am so excited, I feel like I am getting ready to tell mine. I wish I, I mean you could be a fly on the wall to see their faces!!!!

I bet you are right about your friends, they are going to guess before getting to the end and the big announcement. But, who cares when they guess it--it's amazing, wonderful and fantastic news at any time!!!!!

Good stuff my friend. Good stuff.

Alex P said...

I find that when I play the guessing game regarding whether people are pregnant, the best indicators are
1) cheek/chin shows a little puffiness compared to normal
2)love handles which appear like magic from nowhere, mainly from the back.

belly is so common on so many that its really a bad indicator, it could be you just had a heavy lunch... but those two things listed above tend to stay pretty standard on most women, until they become baby mamas.... then it changes dramatically, and are two places women can't hide it... because pants fit snug in the backs and side (until you break down and buy mat....) and because your face is your face... but what do I know...

Riley said...

I can't wait to hear your parents' reaction. How exciting! I doubt your co-workers are on to you - especially since they don't know you that well and don't know if you have weight issues or not! I guess it's starting to feel more real - now that you are at a point where you get to share your great news with others - congrats!

embieadoptmom said...

HOW EXCITING that all will know soon! THAT ROCKS!! Funny you think your co workers are staring and wondering. I would be the nut saying "SHE'S PREGNANT, I JUST KNOW IT!" if I worked with you LOL!

IVF 40+ said...

This may be a somewhat naive question but why is it such a bad thing that they know you are preggers? LIve out and proud!! I am belly hear me roar! "sides, you get to do crazy shit and say " oh these pregnancy hormones!!"

K said...

When the co-workers notice, it's a good thing!

Lorraine said...

My sister got pregnant at the very beginning of a new job and she was terrified that they would treat her as if she tricked her way into the position just for the maternity coverage. Once she was "out" and had discussed her long-term plans with her boss things seemed to be so much better for her - even if it was really all an internal struggle to begin with.

But, I'm kinda trigger-shy about it, too. I've been wearing long tunic-y things and carrying a really big bag lately!

egghunt said...

Ohhh, its unfortunate that IF means you're robbed of the security of screaming "im pregnant" from the roof tops. I feel for you, you've had to go through so much to get here that you just want to hang onto it for yourself for a bit longer, before the masses become aware and you become public property. I guess you are thinking that if they know they might start asking you questions about how you came pregnant and you're probably not ready for that yet? Infertile woman are always thinking 10 steps ahead!!!