I wrote a rather long post today about Embryo Donation. If you are interested, please see below for that post.
For those looking for something a little less informational, I thought I'd talk about something we've all done.
Buying pregnancy tests.
I think the first one I ever bought cost about $12. I thought, wow, that's pricey! And they seemed to go quickly, didn't tell me what I wanted to hear, and got dropped in the trash.
I found some store brand ones at Wal Mart for about $3 plus change. I put 2 of them in my basket, face down, and hidden behind kleenex and toilet paper. I was sort of embarrassed to be buying them. I don't know why. Maybe I expected someone to look at them, smile, look up at me and give me some weird look.
Those, too, ended up in the trash. Twice, though, those little sticks told me something positive - all pun intended. I took photos of the sticks with my two pink lines. My husband and I hugged and the stick sat on the bathroom counter for days (I couldn't throw it away).
Both positives resulted in miscarriages.
Then I started an obsessive habit of POAS. I eventually started buying them at the nearest dollar store. I'd buy 4 or 5 of them. Forget about embarrassment. Now the look on my face said, "What about it??" About 7 days into a 2ww, I'd POAS. Then I'd do it again and again each day...you know....just to be sure it was truly negative.
Like the Elizabeth Kubler-Ross stages of grief, I eventually came to accept that POAS led only to negative results and full trash cans. Cold turkey, I stopped buying pregnancy tests. I figured that if AF were ever late, I could drive to the store and buy one test.
Hasn't happened yet. But the store is close by...just in case.
4 months ago