Friday, April 17, 2009

Ode To My Ovarian Cyst

One more time, I hop up for the ride
Please put your feet here and open your legs wide.
Slide toward me a little, that's it...right there,
He waived the wand and rolled close in his chair.
Up on the monitor you will see...
That's not quite right....what could it be?
A cyst, said the doc, in a casual tone.
What does that mean? I started to groan.
He faxed the Clinic, It's their call to decide.
Then from me the ultrasound wand he pried.
The Clinic called, I was near tears
She spoke while my heartbeat roared in my ears.
Not sure, she said, why there's a cyst
We'll draw blood on Monday, we'll do a new test.
So again I will wait, my excitement half-hearted
Will this FET cycle EVER get started????

I always feel better if I can just get a poem out of my system. Today I felt the need to scream. Here's why:

Because during today's pre-cycle/baseline U/S, there was a cyst on my left ovary.

Because I don't know if my cycle will be delayed.

Because Nurse DeadPanFace missed my vein when drawing blood (again), despite the fact that I have veritable garden hoses for veins.

Because when I got home from the U/S, my husband (who works at home) was on a business call and I was going crazy having to wait to talk to him while thinking about the cyst.

Because I haven't, can't and won't tell my mom, sisters or friends (save one) about this FET/embryo donation we are embarking on. Past negativism, defeatism and other unwanted reactions to my "testing the waters" comments about fertility treatments put the kabash on any support from them.

Because life just doesn't feel fair some days.

I wanted to scream. I didn't. I breathed. I waited it out. I wrote an ode to my ovarian cyst.


IVF 40+ said...

lovely writing! And I am so sorry about your cyst. Thinking of you. Hoping for you

Queenie. . . said...

Ah, you have come to the right place!

Crap luck about the cyst, but you'll find loads of support around here. Good luck with the upcoming cycle, when it does start!

Anonymous said...

Hi, just came over from L&F. Love the ode, very clever. I am so sorry your inspiration (for the ode) is causing you grief, but hopefully they can just aspirate that sucker and you'll be good to go! My last cycle that happened (DE IVF) and it only delayed us 2 days.

I REALLY liked your slab o meat idea for teching shot technique! And how great that your DH is willing, mine is a complete wimp about blood and just HATES needles, but he also has come through beautifully (6th week of PIO shots for the second time - although things aren't looking good)

Good luck, I know you'll be starting up soon cyst-free!

Phoebe said...

I hope you don't have to wait too long. Welcome to the fertile forties club!!

Dora said...

Unless your estrogen is very high, a cyst should not be a problem for a FET. Hang in there.