One more time, I hop up for the ride Please put your feet here and open your legs wide. Slide toward me a little, that's it...right there, He waived the wand and rolled close in his chair. Up on the monitor you will see... That's not quite right....what could it be? A cyst, said the doc, in a casual tone. What does that mean? I started to groan. He faxed the Clinic, It's their call to decide. Then from me the ultrasound wand he pried. The Clinic called, I was near tears She spoke while my heartbeat roared in my ears. Not sure, she said, why there's a cyst We'll draw blood on Monday, we'll do a new test. So again I will wait, my excitement half-hearted Will this FET cycle EVER get started????
I always feel better if I can just get a poem out of my system. Today I felt the need to scream. Here's why:
Because during today's pre-cycle/baseline U/S, there was a cyst on my left ovary.
Because I don't know if my cycle will be delayed.
Because Nurse DeadPanFace missed my vein when drawing blood (again), despite the fact that I have veritable garden hoses for veins.
Because when I got home from the U/S, my husband (who works at home) was on a business call and I was going crazy having to wait to talk to him while thinking about the cyst.
Because I haven't, can't and won't tell my mom, sisters or friends (save one) about this FET/embryo donation we are embarking on. Past negativism, defeatism and other unwanted reactions to my "testing the waters" comments about fertility treatments put the kabash on any support from them.
Because life just doesn't feel fair some days.
I wanted to scream. I didn't. I breathed. I waited it out. I wrote an ode to my ovarian cyst.
I am a 43 year old health law attorney who used to be a pediatric nurse. My husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 years and we have 2 wiley little dogs. After 2 miscarriages and several BFN's, embryo donation has allowed us to be on our way to becoming parents.