Oh crap. I hope I didn't hurt any one's feelings or make you cringe with my last post. I swear that belly ain't baby. I wish it were. It's gas and bloat and cookies. I'm pooping less than my 10 pound dog these days. Serious.
I know it can be hard to see a baby belly when you're not yet pregnant. Every day I still say to my DH, "I hope the baby is still in there" and of course the unspoken word is alive. I adore you all and would never want to make you feel bad.
I was just thinking that this is how I live now. It's in my face. It's with me everywhere I go. Trying to find something to wear. Figuring out which clothes I can't fit into anymore. Trying to do my hair to best hide the squirrely grays. It's in the mirror, it's there when I look down, it's my day and night.
I took that photo on the weekend. I would never wear such clingy clothes out of the house. During the week I wear baggy pants, baggy, untucked shirts and I bring a blazer or sweater to work (cold office). I generally look like a saggy baggy lady. Not fashionable at all. Rather frumpy, in fact.
Certainly none of this is horrible. I don't mean to sound like a whiner. I could be vomiting my face in a toilet half the day. And I'm not. Of course the changes I am experiencing are expected and part of the daily progress. But I notice them as a change in the way I see my evolving self. As I depart from being the person I was to becoming the person I will be during the next several months. Exciting. Scary. New. Someone I am not familiar with.
And for those of you just starting your cycle or planning to start it soon or in the future, I promise to be patient and kind to you when you are pregnant and you start complaining about your pants feeling tight.
Love you all.
6 months ago