Friday, August 21, 2009

Heartache, Happiness and Hell Raising

I have been out of the blog loop for a couple of days and have much to catch up on. But today, my heart, thoughts and prayers are with Fran and her husband Mike at Everyone else but me. Fran is having surgery today. They found that her 6 week pregnancy (baby was seen to have a heartbeat) is ectopic. My poor, darling Fran, who is such a gentle soul, is facing her second ectopic loss.

Why should some face devastation after devastation, while others have their wishes granted? How is this fair?

And at the moment, I'm in the second category. I feel a bit guilty. God knows better than anyone that I don't deserve gifts or miracles. Yet one good thing after another is happening right now. The rug could be pulled a minute or an hour from now, so I continue to hold my breath. But I am most grateful for each blessing, large or small. And at the same time, my heart aches for my dear friends who are now bearing the great weight of sadness.

I had my first OB appointment today. Among other things I had to fill out a health history. One of the questions was "Mother's occupation." I began to write "retired" because my Mom is retired. I got to the letter "i" and realized, oh, wait, I think they mean ME! I am the mother! Ha!

I met with a nurse practitioner who did my U/S. She was so sweet and patient and even made me a photo identifying the baby's parts.

Baby appears to be playing peek-a-boo, and at the moment looks like it will need orthotic braces on it's crooked little legs, but hey, that's my kid!

Then at one point she said, "Look, the baby is kicking its feet!" I said, "What?!" and turned to see better and she held the wand steady for quite a while so we could watch as the baby kicked and even raised it's tiny arm and waived!" Yup, I lost it. I started to cry. Just for a moment. Baby is measuring slight ahead at 10w1d.

Good, good baby!

So what else good is happening? Well, I engaged in battle with my old nemesis, the Outpatient Monitoring Clinic (OMC). Remember how awful they were to me? Downright mean at times. They did not consider me to be "their" patient since they were "only" performing monitoring services (U/Ss and b/w). As such, they refused to submit anything to my insurance, told me none of this was covered anyway because it was part of an IVF cycle, and required me to pay everything out of pocket at non-contracted rates. They refused to even negotiate the fee.

I took my paid invoices and submitted them to my insurance company. Why not? Who says nothing is covered? It can't hurt to try. The insurance wrote to me, saying that they required the doctor to sign the invoices. When I called the OMC to ask that a doctor sign the papers, I was essentially told that they would likely refuse my request because they did not consider me to be "their" patient and therefore required me to pay the higher rates. She further said that they would not communicate with my insurance company because if the insurance company determined that the services were covered, the OMC might be stuck in the position of having to pay back some of the money!

Can you believe the nerve??????!!!!

Oh yeah, I was all over that. I called the insurance company and several calls from them were made to the OMC. My understanding is that legally, they cannot refuse to submit a claim. Well, I think they felt the fire under their feet and finally caved and gave the insurance company confirmation of services provided to me.

The insurance company called me today and said the services provided by the OMC are covered! There is more work to do to straighten this mess out, but those of you who know me, know that I won't back down from a good fight with the OMC. I may actually end up getting a nice reimbursement. If I find out they were engaging in unethical billing practices, I will rush to report them to the licensing agency.

Other good news? I still feel good. I've gained only 2-3 pounds and although I am dead tired at the end of the day and have had a few days of uncomfortable constipation, overall I feel really good.

I am so, so grateful and humbled by these gifts.

Next on the schedule will be an NT scan in a couple of weeks as part of the various first trimester screenings.

And now I need to come visit all your blogs and catch up. Happy weekend, friends!


cindyhoo2 said...

Excellent news on the scan! The baby looks so... well baby-like in your scan. He/she is hardly the chicken leg we last saw.

In terms of the OMC, they better stand back! They have NO idea who they are dealing with. :)

The "mom" story made me tear up a little... that's you now.

Mad Hatter said...

Beautiful kicking baby! It's so good to share in your joy! And we all deserve such blessings, so try not to feel pregnancy guilt (I know it's hard).
Grrrr! That OMC stuff makes me so mad! Good for you for taking them on! They don't know who they're messing with, do they?
I'm so pleased you're feeling so good, BWUB - you are such a lovely and supportive friend and it's so nice to see you happy. :-)

IVF 40+ said...

i agree with Mad Hatter - love being part of your lovely wonderful pregnancy. I also love that the little one is joining or fiesty fighter club early - kick away little one, kick away.

I am so impressed that you had the balls to go after the clinic. Very very cool.

Anonymous said...

the story about having to list "mother's occupation" made me laugh out loud! :) its a hard adjustment to start thinking of ourselves as mothers, eh?

congrats on the great scan, the picture of your babe is beautiful!!

Alex P said...

I loved your comment on my blog, and I am sure that you do NOT dress like a grandma, I think there is definitely a market niche- the professional who doesn't need to look old but doesn't fit into junior sizes... so frustrating! I also think that the pre-maternity clothing world needs some help- my sis in law still wears her maternity pants while shes getting rid of the baby weight, because shes back to being in between. Normal pants provide too much structure, especially in first and early second trimester when your belly kinda fluctuates in size but isn't comfortable with waist band all the time (as you shared)... I think Moms to be (yes that's you!) and new moms both would love a pant/skirt designed to kindof... work with the changes! be comfortable so that you're not forced to undo the pants at work. Youre definitely not in mat-pant territory, but who wants to buy pants which are just bigger and will need replacing in a month? Hmmm. You make me think of things entirely differently! and Im so excited for all the mom thinking youre doing! So awesome!

Oh, and I TOTALLY agree that the proportions used by most stores are ridiculous. Theres no such thing as standardized sizing, but most companies build off a size 2 fit model, and then just upsize stuff by 1/2" or so for each size. That means that a size 10 should be at least 5'9" and only still have a waist of 28-30, yeh... the proportions used are kindof obscene.

And any age can wear a scarf. You should get a cheap solid coloured pashmina and embrace the fun of them! They're also awesome for things such as hiding a not ready to tell yet baby belly...

just me, dawn said...

baby looks so beautiful.....I am so happy for you ((hugs))

Fran said...

The scan pic is fantastic!! And you're damn right in making them pay you back!!! Go girl!

Also thank you so much for mentioning me in your blog, it's not easy but we'll get through this I know. Lots of love, Fran

Riley said...

Your baby is beautiful. You should not feel guilty. It's nice to hear that someone is getting good news out there! So glad you didn't back down from the fight with OMC - you get'em girl!

BB said...

What a great scan! I'm jealous! I'm hoping mine will look like yours on Wednesday!!

I'm so glad you are feeling well and so glad you fighting the system!!

K said...

Ok, I'm laughing. But seriously, I have MAJOR cantaloupe envy, especially since it's one of my favorite fruits. We just can't get them to ripen appropriately. Loved your pictures too.

And good for you for taking the OMC all the way. That is SO wrong. Unfortunately, I think I'm about to go down the same path with my OMC.