Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Patience, Grasshopper

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I want to thank everyone for their thoughtful suggestions and support. Last night my DH and I discussed everything at length. We weighed the possible benefits and risks of proceeding. If my estradiol levels come down to the normal range and we want to keep the transfer on schedule for Thursday, I had to start the progesterone last night. But you know progesterone starts the clock and then you either HAVE TO transfer or cancel.

We decided to start the progesterone. This morning I had blood drawn at the outside monitoring clinic rather than the lab I had been using. We won't know the results for several hours yet. There is a possibility that the lab we had been using generated erroneous results and that my estradiol level has been fine all along. If my level comes back today at, say, 200 or 300, then the lab's results were probably wrong. If the results come back at 700 or 800, then we have a problem.

But having had time to calm down and think this thing through, we decided that if the estradiol level is unstable, or borderline too high, and if the RE feels that the present circumstances are not optimal for transfer, my DH and I decided we will agree with the RE and cancel this cycle.

We can do another cycle in 6 weeks. We would take a lower dose of estradiol and hopefully attain good levels from the outset. Waiting 6 weeks is not the end of the world. I really want these embryos, and if we lose them just because we are anxious and rush this cycle, we will be back on a waiting list for other embryos for who knows how long. Maybe several months or more.

To me, it's worth waiting for the perfect pitch before we swing the bat. So I am learning patience.

--UPDATE 2pm --

Today's E2 level came back at 599.
Now the question becomes, was the first lab result (939) wrong or are my levels dropping that fast? The RE says if we could prove yesterday's lab result was wrong, she's fine with doing the transfer. But there is no way to prove it. If, on the other hand, my levels are in fact dropping that fast, then I will start bleeding in a couple of days and we will lose the embryos.

Erring on the side of caution, we will probably cancel the cycle. I'll go back on BCPs for 10 days to help regulate my hormones, then stop BCPs for AF, then restart a new cycle (and get all b/w done at the monitoring clinic). The good thing is that we have most of the meds, so the cost won't be quite as huge. It's a little disappointing, but I feel like we're making the safest decision.


---SECOND UPDATE 4 PM---
We cancelled. I start BCPs tomorrow. I'm really feeling pretty good about this. My gut is saying "good move." I'm learning to trust my gut. Well, it's either my gut or it could also be the wine I'm already drinking! ;)

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9 comments:

stillhopeful said...

Wow - I'm out for 2 days and all this happens!! What a rollercoaster. I really hope the levels come back on track for you. It's so hard to get all excited and feel like you're right around the corner from making your dream come true, only to run up against an obstacle like this. My fingers are crossed for you and I applaud your patience!!

musicmakermomma said...

What a drag for you - I wonder if that lab just got everything wrong? I'd be using that other lab next time!

But I think you made a good call, hard as it is to wait (and PAY!) This cycle I had lots of left-over drugs, hopefully you only need to get a few things to tide you over. You want all the things you CAN control to be as good as they can be when you put those embies in!

cindyhoo2 said...

Wow. Tough decision but I think you have done the wise thing. You would have really beaten yourself up emotionally if this cycle failed and you felt you could have changed something. So now you and your plants can go home and have a restful 6 weeks.

And perhaps re-read the Yellow Wallpaper. ;)

meandbaby said...

You sound sure of your decision and I think that's great. It sucks you had to make it but hopefully the wait will fly by. (this time I year, I find the weeks come too fast so maybe that's a good thing!) Enjoy the mini-break. From one who took a break herself, it is nice to be able to drink lots of caffeine and alcohol again! :)

stillhopeful said...

Good decision. Disappointing that you have to wait, but if you went ahead and had a bad result, you'd always second guess yourself.

And enjoy that wine!! :)

Alex P said...

Youre such a trooper! this is one of those super good decisions, that seems responsible and awesome. Again- youre already thinking about your 'kids' instead of your self...

Waiting and watching with fingers crossed!

C Lo said...

I learn so much from you. And..........I completely agree. Trust your gut. :)

*hug*

K said...

I second that comment...you do have to go with your gut. Sucks you've got to start over, but hang in there. If we only had all the answers......

IVF 40+ said...

You are amazing. You handle all this with humanity and humour.
Now drink more wine. MORE I SAY!