I am up and around a bit. But I'm still very cautious. I know the embies can't really fall out, but you know, irrational thinking tends to take over in times like these.
Prior to the transfer I had all kinds of crazy thoughts. I imagined the doctor walking into the OR with the catheter loaded with my embies, and tripping over a shoelace, stumbling to the floor, embies flying out of her hand and crashing against a wall.
I wondered, hmmm, maybe there are no embies at all. Maybe they'll just carry in an empty catheter, and show me stock photos of human embryos. Maybe they'll go through the motions of a transfer, but not really transfer anything at all. Like a huge medical scam where they dupe dozens of couples into paying for the same batch of embryos.
Okay, I know, these are entirely unlikely scenarios. I mean, the Clinic has a good reputation and must report success rates to the CDC. Nobody is likely to trip. I'm sure there is no fraud. It's just....when you want something badly, and you've come close to getting it in the past, only to have the dream ripped from your hands and heart at the last moment, it seems you can't help but think about what could go wrong. A thousand mishaps waiting to happen.
Soon enough, I remind myself, soon enough we'll know.
In the meantime I have kept myself occupied with the T.wilight Z.one marathon on TV. I brought books to read, but my thoughts are too scattered to be able to focus on a book. TV, naps, food and the internet. Overall I feel pretty good. Belly fullness and twinges continue, but that could simply be progesterone at work. Who knows.
Tomorrow we head home. I can't wait to get there.
I can only mention these thoughts now that the transfer is complete. Not that I am entirely rational yet. I'm not.
4 months ago