Sunday, July 26, 2009

Dumb and Klutzy

I hate when I do dumb things. I actually roll my eyes at myself.

Yesterday I went to the grocery store. I grabbed a cart and rolled through the aisles and ended up in produce. Stupid plastic produce bags. You know the thin plastic bags you pull from the roll to put your tomatoes, broccoli or apples in? Yeah, we'll I can never get them open. There is some electrostatic property about those bags that seems to cause the two sides of the bag to stick together. And for the life of me I can't separate them. This is a regular frustration for me. So there I am, standing in front of the hothouse tomatoes trying repeatedly to get the darn bag open. I try blowing on it. I rub the bag furiously between my palms. I try using a fingernail to pry the sides apart. I can't do it!! So, ultimately, I did the worst thing possible. I licked my thumb. Oh, it got the bag open in a jif, no doubt about that.

But then I stood there, realizing that I just licked a thumb that had been touching a grocery cart handle. I guess I might as well have licked the cart handle itself.

Now I'm not usually a panicky, freaked out germ-a-phobe. I typically abide by the 4-second rule (if you drop food on the floor at home and pick it up within 4 seconds, it's okay to eat) and I don't think ingesting a little dirt, dust or dog hair ever hurt anyone. If you've got a healthy immune system, you should be able to take most things in stride.

But things are different now. Now I am pg. And now the swine flu is on the rampage around the world. Have you ever seen those TV shows where they swab grocery cart handles....and demonstrate all the bugs and germs that live there? I wanted to spit, right there in front of the tomatoes. It bothered me all day that I did that (lick my thumb, that is - I didn't actually spit).

It quit bothering me so much when I did something klutzy AND stupid.

These are my progesterone capsules.

Last night I was preparing to take the final capsule of the day - right before bedtime. I was already sleepy and while shuffling about in the bathroom, I knocked the vial of capsules onto the floor.

The cap flew off and capsules scattered all over the floor. That vial was 2/3 full. I don't know if it was the 4-second rule that was running through my mind or just getting them off the floor, but I began quickly scooping them up and dropping them back into the vial. Aaarrgh!

I suddenly realized that by putting dropped capsules back into the vial I'd contaminated the entire vial. So I quit doing that and put the remaining capsules I picked up off the floor into a tissue. The ones that rolled under the cabinet and up against the wall went into the trash. I stood there not knowing what to do - still half asleep.

Then thinking about having contaminated the vial, I dumped out a bunch of capsules, trying to undo the contamination (yeah, right). When I finally prepared and inserted one, I thought, this is really freaking great. I just put what is probably a horribly contaminated capsule way up there in my cervix and those horrible floor germs are going to jump off the capsule and reach out to the baby, infect it, and now it will be born with some terrible defect. All because of my klutziness and stupidity.

When I came out of the bathroom and told my DH, he said, "It'll probably be all right. You can order more meds, right?" Yeah, of course I can get more meds, but that didn't relieve my anxiety any. I couldn't fall asleep for hours just thinking about it. I really hate when I do dumb things.


Anonymous said...

you know..........they say pregnancy makes you especially klumsy. and babies steal your brains.

embieadoptmom said...

I'm sure you will be fine. Babies do steal your brains. Put some GERMX in your purse for next time and let it go. Your babies are okay, I'm sure of it. Cant wait to get "baby Brain" myself LOL!
Hugs and decontamination prayers heading your way!

cindyhoo2 said...

As a nurse you have come in contact with worse germs than you will find on your own floor or on the shopping cart. I am quite sure that your immune system van handle these challenges (and the baby's too since you guys are sharing for the next 8 months). Do I think you should begin the habit of licking public knobs and railings? NO! But do I think all will be well these times? You bet! Your past losses have made you frightened (I know that is not news to you) so try to remember those stupid shows about women who never even knew they were pregnant-- they all end with "and the baby was born healthy". So see, you'll be fine! :-)

I am sure that I will need you to talk me through some of the same fears in a couple of months. BTW, I took a sniff of the neem and you are right. That stuff smells toxic!

Anonymous said...

Well, you definately have pregnancy brain! I'm sure it will be fine, I know you are extra cautious because of the babies, but your system is firing on all cylinders now, so you probably are immune to everything. If it puts your mind at ease you can order more pills. I'm a big advocate of putting my mind at ease!

Mad Hatter said...

That's EXACTLY the kind of thing that happens to me frequently! (and I don't have pregnancy brain as an excuse!) For what it's worth, late one night I recently dropped my bottle of thyroid meds and it landed right in the dog's water bowl!!! There were only 5 tablets left and, you guessed it, water got inside the bottle and I had to try to dry the pills off with a tissue. I had no time to pick up a new bottle in the few days to follow, so I had to either eat them or go without my medication (yes, I took them and am alive to tell the embarassing tale!).
All this to say I totally understand your worry. Like everyone else who commented, I think you will be just fine. You probably got rid of most of the "dirty" progesterone capsules when you got rid of some from the bottle, and you can order new ones to, yes, make yourself feel better, if for no other reason. As far as the grocery cart thumb licking incident goes, my theory is that you likely CLEANED any possible germs off of your thumb on the plastic when you were struggling to open the bag. And your immune system will take care of the rest, I am sure of it. I definitely think you can rest easy.

Lorraine said...

Watch out - pregnancy brain just gets worse! Luckily, most things end up being just fine. Maybe be extra careful in traffic, though!

I, unfortunately, have had pregnancy brain for quite a while. Not sure if it never really went away after my daughter was born, or if I maybe need to call it something else...

tireegal68 said...

two words: hand sanitizer!
I am a self confessed germophobe and I have a different bottle for each outfit and each handbag ( only a slight exaggeration!!!)
I know a few people who have handed some of the stuff to everyone who wants to handle their baby. Not sure if I would do this - but my rational mind tells me that everyone needs a few germs just to keep their immune system firing on all cylinders. You got your daily dose twice and will be extra immune for another day!
Hope the anxiety is not giving you too many sleepless nights!

Anonymous said...

Well my are definitely pregnant!!! But listed to your resident scientist here: first of all, your mouth or your other bits down below are NOT sterile so it's not like you have contaminated anything. Seocondly, bacteria don't usually jump onto things! :o) you have to spread them willingly! I wouldn't be worried, when is your scan by the way? I can't remember! Love, Fran

ps: still no news, but getting close to the truth time I'd say!

K said...

Someday you will laugh at all of this...and I'm in agreement with everyone else. You'll all live!