Monday, July 27, 2009

Mrs. Cranky Pants

My first pregnancy ultrasound is Thursday, and I'm nervous as hell. Of course I have been looking forward to it like a kid looks forward to Christmas. Yet it could also be the day I learn that, for one reason or another, my pregnancy is a lost cause. It's a double edged sword.

Speaking of sharp things, I am becoming quite the grump toward my DH. You know, all in an effort to provide a perfect home for our baby. For the baby that might not even be there. But just in case, I'd better get an early start.

Of course, I am nowhere near perfect, my DH is not perfect and our house is not perfect. But somehow I'm envisioning this fantasy, dreamlike world we will bring our baby into, where everything is pastel, gleaming clean and we are June and W.ard C.leaver.

Of course June would never carry on the way I do, but hey, the kid's not here yet.

Here is a random sampling of my rants:

"Honey, you cannot leave a pot handle turned outward like this on the stove. A toddler could reach up and pull a boiling pot of water down. You have to turn the handle inward. Seeeee, like this."

"Really. Could you stop scratching and handling your privates when you talk to me? You know, when the baby gets older, you're going to need to develop some better manners about that."

"Look at your sock drawer! It's a disaster. I hope you know the baby's drawers had better never look this way."

"You're going to have to learn how to wash baby clothes, and I want them soft and smelling good, so don't ever wash them with your gym clothes."

"Once the baby is here I don't want any more swearing in the house. Yeah, I know that includes me. We both have to work on it."

"You know....Could you at least say 'Excuse me' when you do that? It's gross and rude that you take such pleasure in making noises like that."

I'm sure I've been quite the peach to live with. Note my sidebar I say that my DH has the patience of Job. It's true. He just sort of rolls with my crankiness. Which is good. But I still wish he'd say "Excuse me."


stillhopeful said...

Hey - at least you can look at yourself and realize it's possible you might be a bit picky, right? I think it's just all the pregnancy hormones... Did the fertility drugs / Lupron make you crazy? If so, I'm sure your DH is quite used to it by now!

For some reason, neither the drugs nor the pregnancy hormone have affected my mood, and DH goes around telling people he's the luckiest guy alive because of it. But I get him back by sneaking things onto the honey-do list when he's not looking!

just me, dawn said...

praying for a GREAT result tomorrow!! and I am LMAO....about your crankiness...I am sure your honey is doing just fine :)

IVF 40+ said...

this morning I was in the bedroom whilst DH was taking his morning wee and he let out the loudest trumpeting I have ever heard. I think he thought I was in the kitchen.
It was so loud it woke the cat!

embieadoptmom said...

Blame it on the DOPE you are taking LOL! You are cracking me up! I aspire to be June and even wear aprons when I cook, it just makes my feel better! CANNOT wait to hear your FABULOUS results tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

I've given up on the grabbing themselves thing. I think it just comes with having genitalia that is dangly..........they just HAVE TO GRAB IT ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY. It starts very early. If you have a boy, you'll see........oy.

cindyhoo2 said...

Hey, I am grumpy too.... And I don't have the fabulous excuse you do. Frankly all your helpful advice for your husband sounds quite practical to me. Good job getting an early start to the fatherly improvements! Nice thinking. :)

looking4#3 said...

AAAhhhh, the rantings of a pregnant woman!!!! Awesome to hear. Just stopping by and getting all caught up to speed. I am POSITIVE Thursday's U/S is going to be awesome with amazing news/results!!!!

Lorraine said...

The heightened sense of everything is just par for the course now - MAYBE you'll relax after a good scan on Thursday? But probably he should just get used to it....

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid there is no end in sight for the perfection list - mine has gone through many modifications and never been close to reality! But it is lovely to dream. And why not, before the baby comes. I'm sure your scan will be great on Thursday, hang in there! That is the day of my WTF appt with the surgeon. Hopefully we'll both have great news.

Anonymous said...

Cant wait for your u/s on Thursday, Im sure everything will be 100%!

Anonymous said...

Oh dear!! You had me in stiches!! I really needed a good laugh and you provided it!! So thanks so much my friend. I am so confident your U/S on thursday will be great, honestly, no doubt in my mind! Like you said to me, things are going well, be just happy about it and every day your little one(S) will get stronger and stronger. Big hugs to you, I don't know what I would do without your comments, they totally made a difference yesterday, Fran

K said...

Was just realizing whatever comment I wrote yesterday didn't post. I remember saying you cracked me up or something like that. And, only a couple of sleeps until the u/s?

Peeveme said...

Wishing you the best on Thursday. It amazes me that we can simultaneously think a pregnancy is doomed and yet start putting child lock on everything.

tireegal68 said...

OMG! You had me laughing out loud at my desk at work!!!! Hilarious!
I get you on this - I have been doing this for years - my favorite is: you know, when we have kids and we go on vacation you won't be able to bring all the S$%T that you normally pack the car full with - there won't be room! Her reply: we'll get a bigger car!!!!
It sounds like you guys are going to be on your "best behavior" for the baby when he or she arrives - no swearing, no farting, no grabbing ones dangly bits! That might get a bit old after a while!!!
But seriously I am so excited about your u/s - are there going to be pictures? Try to get some sleep between now and then:)
(HUGS) and thanks for the laugh!!:)

Alex P said...

Alright. So youre hubby can take it. seeing as everyones blaming hormones anyways, why not come up with some other things to nag about?

"70% of the nations housework is still done by women, lets make it 30% in this house, to help balance things a bit more, how 'bouts it?"

"Yknow, it would be really helpful to the baby if you built me a beautiful walk in closet... I mean, beautiful moms make for happy kids"

"I think the baby would like it if you took me to the cheap tuesday movies... it really wants its parents to be having some quality time together."

awww. men are awesome. Your hubbys a catch. I just tell myself my husband farts to keep all the other women away.... makes me feel a little better. Also helps that he farts, and I nag, and it balances out.

Anonymous said...

i'm baaaaaack! i have been out of the blogworld for a bit - trying to leave my bitterness behind and not muck up everyone else's blogs!

i am so THRILLED to see that you are pregnant and awaiting an u/s!! fantastic news!! many congratulations to you and your dh with the patience of job!

really great news!!

BB said...

I love this post! At least you say these things out loud to him so he knows what your thinking. I THINK all of these things but I never verbalize them- I should start huh?

Thinking of you tomorrow. Can't wait to see your post :)