Monday, July 20, 2009

For Each, A Season

I pamper my garden. Yesterday, I excitedly showed my DH the 4 peach-sized cantaloupe that are growing. As I watered the plants in the late afternoon (after having watered them in the morning), my DH shook his head and said, "You baby those plants so much....will you be able to bring yourself to eat the fruit once it ripens?"

Hey, first of all, it was 106 degrees yesterday. Potted plants dry out. Second of all, what else should I be doing with my time? It's a valid hobby, and yes, as a matter of fact, if anything ever actually ripes, I will eat it! He wasn't really picking on me, and in fact, I think he secretly likes watching me nurture the plants and our dogs. But there is a reason I spend so much time looking after those plants.

I have been out of work now for 8 months. It's a long time without a paycheck and unemployment benefits don't cover much. The FET, drugs, and monitoring clinic costs had to be paid in full. While I consider the time I have had at home to be wonderful - allowing me to plan our FET, to relax, to spend time with the dogs, etc- lack of funds severely limit the ways in which a person is able to spend that "free" time.

We won't be taking a vacation anytime soon. We won't have a romantic weekend getaway for our anniversary in September. We won't buy a new couch, replace a fence that is about to topple over or buy a new refrigerator to replace our current one that hums constantly, has warped seals and drains water in a way that sounds like it's peeing. The money for those things was spent on all things FET. I think it was a good way to spend that money and I'm not sorry about it.

But I still need to find things to do with my time. Theater, shopping, museums, household repair projects, salon appointments and even a Sunday drive cost money. There will be time in the future for all of these things, but for now I have to be content with being a homebody. I'm perfectly happy to poke about in the back yard, inspecting tomato leaves for bugs, peeking at growing fruit and tying up cantaloupe vines. Then I let the dogs splash in the pool, and if it's cool enough, I relax under the umbrella on the patio with a book. I watch the occasional butterfly flutter about and I am thankful for all that I have.

Life is a series of seasons. The seasons change, each bringing new adventures and challenges. I know the current season of my life won't last forever. In some ways I'm happy about that. But I also know I'll look back on this period in my life and remember it fondly.

I hope that whatever season your life is in currently, that you are able to find moments of joy and that you feel a sense of adventure. Although you may be constrained as to what you can do and what you can have, I hope that you are preserving fond memories that will bring you happiness in years to come. Even if those memories include something as simple as an unripe cantaloupe or time with someone you love.


11 comments:

stillhopeful said...

What a sweet post! You are obviously in a great mood and feeling very appreciative for where you are in life right now. What a great feeling!

K said...

The garden is a great place of peace, resource, and well...uh-uhm...fruits of your labors. (Pun sort of intended.) Can't think of anything finer (at the moment) than being a homebody. So good for you for enjoying the heck out of it.

embieadoptmom said...

All the sweet sacrifices you are making for your babies! I love it! Ours was a deck but we got our embies instead-MUCH BETTER! and NO COMPARISON to the sweet lives we will all be raising! HUGS! I've been a homebody since our first adoption and I love it! BUT it took a while to get used to!

Mad Hatter said...

What a lovely post! I love the sentiment, the fresh greenness, and oh-my-goodness-I-love-your-puppies-they-are-soooooooooooooooo-adorable!!!!

Angelwingsbaby said...

I found your blog through embieadoptmom and want to say that I can totally relate on your post about your mother and on the being laid off (DH is and I was a stay at home mom at the time)part and having no money to do anything.I am almost 18 weeks pregnant with a donor embryo baby.Feel free to visit my blog.-Megan

Infertility Demons said...

What a positive and up-beat post! I just came across your blog today and have enjoyed learning about your journey. I agree with Mad Hatter ... your puppies are adorable!!!!

Good luck with your journey ...

musicmakermomma said...

Your garden is doing great! You are a good mom - my poor tomatoes are struggling and I killed the melons. I do have some flowers on the zucchini this year! Maybe something to eat before the first frost.

Thank you so much for your lovely comment on my blog. Well stated. I am amazed at where I've ended up, but I guess that is what makes life exciting!

Fran said...

This post was just so good. Your garden look amazing, I wish I had one myself. Here today is raining like really heavily and it doesn't seem it'll stop. But it will of course and when the sun will shine again the rain will be forgotten. Being able to make the best of your situation, no matter what it is, is a great virtue, keep it up! Love, Fran

Riley said...

I loved this post - so uplifting! I love the photos of your garden and your doggies, too - how cute! Your cantaloupes are looking great - all that nurturing is paying off. We had torrential downpours yesterday that nearly destroyed my pepper and tomato plants - it actually knocked off one stalk on my pepper plant that had three peppers growing - I was so bummed. Thankfully, it sounds like your garden is still in great shape. Continue to enjoy this time - it sounds heavenly!

cindyhoo2 said...

Beautifully stated! I agree. I wish I could go on a vacation this summer but I do not begrudge that vaca money is being used for frozen eggs (and sperm). I am happy that you are able to enjoy your homebody time.

BB said...

I love your post and your dogs are adorable!! Sounds like you are doing well and hanging in there until your next milestone. Time creeps incredibly slow doesn't it? All the best.
BB